August 5, 2012
Over the summer two individuals with backgrounds in psychology and neurosciences, opted to exact the unthinkable. One rampage killed several innocent people while attending a movie the other while unsuspecting worshippers gathered. Emotionally crippled individuals who haven’t learned how to use other skill sets to cope with their anger have succumb to hate fueled rages, in many forms.
The little black boy(s) gunned down by self appointed night watchmen driven by the hate of clumsy racism determined to exact unnecessary destruction.
Envious audiences hurled insults at our mahogany “Mary Lou”. Gabrielle Douglas, a product of Virginia Beach, VA. , wowed the nation with her dynamic gymnastic abilities in the Summer Olympics of 2012, yet all some could talk about was the texture of her hair and the complexion of her skin tone. Seriously? The limit of hate has absolutely no bounds. The back story of this young woman is grounds for her to be hailed as a reincarnated saint. That is of no relevance to those bound and determined to berate greatness. Attempts to diminish the sixteen year old were met with positive posts the star athlete created on Twitter.
“Thank you guys for everything! I am SO grateful God has truly blessed! Remember to ALWAYS give him the glory for he is GREAT! <3”
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord”
The gossiper is compelled to speak against others with or without provocation. The nay-sayer will plant seeds of negativity to throw those that they conspire against off of their destiny…their purpose. The insecure will leave verbal residue on the wind with hopes that it will land on ears that will hear their disdain for anyone or anything that is unlike them.
Interestingly, in many cases these individuals don’t even know the person who has become their target. They are speaking without any context. When there is no context then it is second nature to fill in the missing information with often false information that has been conjured to make the story sound credible.
THE ISSUE“Being nice to someone you hate isn’t called being two faced. It’s called growing up.”- unknown
Let’s break it down.
Be NICE. This should be self explanatory but for many, being nice is a foreign concept. In certain cultures and environments it may even serve as a disadvantage to one’s survival. For those who are unfamiliar, being nice means treating people with respect. Greeting all people with a smile and engaging conversation. It means being aware of limits and boundaries to topics of conversations and not taking the license of touching things that do not belong to you.
Being nice to someone with whom you hate implies that you are tolerating their presence long enough to get the job done. “Hate” infers that there is an issue with the hater as well. Many say they love God, but according to teachings -how can that individual hate his children and love him/her?
Two faced. Actually the one living by this creed would in fact be two faced, whether it’s in a good or bad way cannot be determined until the practices are evidenced.
Growing Up. When hate becomes of no use and an acknowledgement of just how blessed life is dawns on the heart of the once hateful, then and only then will some semblance of wisdom settle. As long as rage, envy, jealousy, pain, and spite rule daily interactions-it is safe to say that there is more ‘growing up’, yet left to do.
The in-law approached with a justification for the reason she allows her child to be a holy terror. Listening ever so intently the reasons just weren’t convincing.
“The world is full of bullies, and my child needs to be able to defend herself”. Yes that is why there are Judo, Karate, other defense classes that often teach the discipline necessary to discern when to exact “warp 10” on that ass versus beating any and everyone including the parents because they offend.
“In my family we fight”…AND? There are different ways to fight. Teaching a child to be violent because the family is violent, only teaches the child to distrust those who have learned to take different approaches to resolving conflicts. Children learn by watching the parent’s responses to issues and crisis.
Anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and other health issues are directly related to ones inability to calm down. The older one gets the rage charged rants are ridiculous. It appears that nothing has been learned having lived as long as one has. What about respect, courtesy, honor, and manners? In certain many black and brown cultures, those were the character traits that were honed. However, in this new era the same traits have taken a sinister twist.
Keeping children actively engaged in activities and learning “distract” the child from developing issue with rejection, defeat, and/or the word “NO”. Life is a balance of positives and negatives. If a child only receives positives it is very unlikely that the child will not know what to do with the downsides when they present.
Acting out violently is usually related to an inability to articulate their issue with a situation. Teach the children how to effectively express themselves at early ages. Getting angry solves absolutely nothing. However one could argue that the anger motivates a positive outcome. In this instance the art of finding a positive in a negative situation needs to be guided as well.
At the end of the day we are all human, with very real emotions.
The objective of this article was not to condemn or malign those with anger issues. Nor to belittle those who find themselves ‘hating’ on everything. Grumpy smurf just popped into mind. In fact, it was meant to be a mirror. How are you responding to the world around you? What energy are you projecting that gives impressions that you are a hater or negative for no other reason but to be divisive.
Competition can be healthy. Playing a game can hone masterful skills that are intended to build stellar characteristics akin to nobility. Like everything else, the dark side of competition can be unhealthy ambition that will stop at nothing to get whatever they want at any cost. To that it is cautioned to proceed in whatever manner you deem fit but beware of those sleeping giants. The unlikely lot will retaliate against all of that conspiring. Be careful what pot of chaos is stirred. Be mindful of those who believe in a higher power. Making an enemy out of one of them is inviting trouble that you’ve never known.
For those being tormented at the hands of those who are bound and determined to make life miserable, it is urged that you find your peace. It is necessary to fight necessary battles to shut the demons down. There is a time and place for everything. There is a way that it must be done as well. Gunning people down IS NOT IT! Being who you have been purposed to be is what made them hate you, be even better. Stand firm, do not be moved by attacks. Prepare yourself for what may come and don’t be surprised or caught off guard when it does.
Sadly, It is certain to come.