COMMENTARY ON WP ARTICLE. The Washington Post published an article on Thursday December 10, 2009 entitled “Single-Minded Success”. The article was an attempt to unravel the elusive institution of marriage among educated black women.
The young author featured in the article is Ms. Helena Andrews. A 29 year old single black female living in the all too political city of DC. It was an attempt that came across as more of a shameless plug for her black sex in the city prototype. There were sad efforts made by little young misses to explain why they perceived themselves to be in the circumstance that they find constantly.
Let me offer another vantage point. The pickings are slim for anyone of color living within any city within the United States of America. People who have grown up in poverty (on any level) have grown up with emotional baggage and scares that have been forged to insulate them from needing anyone other than themselves to survive. In urban areas, emotion of most any kind is considered a weakness-which is a dagger to any attempt at a healthy relationship. Within the article the young authoress even admits that she wears a scowl to keep people away and asks a co-worker no one ever speaks to her….”Because you are a bitch” is the co-workers response. She also admits to being a “mean woman”. Seriously, the WPost did an aweful job at capturing the true depth of the issue. All black women are not evileena’s. We are not all bitches and ready to fight at the drop of a hat. However, given our historical context it was necessary for our particular circumstance to become one the could be overcome whether a man was present or not.
The issues that are more accurate would include: 1. The increase in AIDS/HIV among Washingtonians. DC happens to be the leading city of all new reported cased in the country. So anyone in their right mind who lives in and or around the general vacinity of DC would be extremely cautious and very weary of anyone new.
2. As stated previously, the pickings are slim…and even slimmer for educated black women who want someone who is equally yoked. You know someone with whom we can have an educated, informed, non emotional conversation without someone fleeing. 3. Self esteem issues are extremely pervasive and influential in this discussion. The self esteem of MANY people creates ticking time bombs within their relationships because they are bringing NONSENSE with them when they come into a new relationship. Nonsense that may include extreme pain, demoralization, distrust, disloyalty, and/or infidelity (that attributed to all of the aforementioned). Intimidation by someone within the relationship is a problem that impacts whether typically very independent women will invariably find a mate, as well.
There are too many formidible reasons that were not discussed in the article that were not even mentioned that would better reflect the true depth of the issue. Black women are circumspectfully choosing their mates.
Someone who has some semblance of intellect, good to excellent credit, an ability to meet the necessary criteria for the scoping female, a good family, a lucrative job, mental and financial stability, no skeletons in the closet, no to limited baby mama drama, good personal hygiene, a true sense of ambition or future planning….is just hard to come by…for ANYONE!!!